Friday, August 8, 2014

*UPDATED* Adventures with Lea #2: My First Chiropractor Appointment

     Hello everyone!  You've probably noticed a sparsity of updates.  That's because I wrecked my back 2 weeks ago and it got progressively worse to the point of being unable to really think without the pain, so I just focused on getting my videos up instead.  I've also been working hard on a new series of posts about Amariel since I saw some interest in Mate.  Plus, I'm working on a new Pets post with even more animal characters!  And, to wrap all this work in progress stuff up in a bow, I've also been contemplating uploading segments of my comic on here starting from page 1!  I'd really like some feedback on that!
    Now, as I said, my back was very messed up by lifting a heavy box of books for Tristan's wedding 2 weeks ago.  At first, I thought time and medicine would make it better, but I soon discovered it was getting worse.  Since then, I've had trouble walking or bending over to do anything, hanging out with my friends is painful, and even just lying down can get uncomfortable quickly.  Two days ago, I finally decided to just go to the Chiropractor for the first time ever.  If you all remember my first cavity, then allow me to now explain to you what going to the Chiropractor is like.  Updated 8/8/14 7:30 p.m.

    First off, I was given a pile of paperwork a mile high just to get in.  I had to sit in the main lobby alongside
many people 3 times my age and fill out the forms about my health history, insurance (which I had to call my mom to find out about), and other stuff.  This paperwork took me near 20 minutes to complete.  Once I finished, there was a short wait before I was led into a secondary lobby with 8 chairs.  Most chairs were occupied, and I prefer to sit away from people, so I picked the seat as shown in the diagram and held my bag in my lap.  We were not allowed to use cell phones in the back area, so I settled to watch Cupcake Wars on the TV.  Then, HE entered.

     Let's call this man "Bob" seeing as he had an equally generic manly name.  Bob strode in.  He was a larger, older man with a t-shirt and weirdly short shorts.  He had a sort of strange, almost southern but not quite accent and asked if I minded him sitting next to me.  I of course said it was fine because anything else would be completely rude, and continued to watch the screen.  You know in all those war movies, the main character meets a talkative friend on the plane/car/other mode of transportation that chats him up enough that the audience both hates and feels sympathy for him?  You know the one: the one that the main character hates but when he dies valiantly on the field of battle (probably 1st), the hero has to cry a little and admit he liked him?  That is Bob.
    Bob began to chat me up bout how he was in a motorcycle crash with a truck (which of course concerns me, since The Tinker rides a motorcycle) and how his neck and part of his back were broken.  I tried to make the simple placating nods and mhms when needed seeing as I'd rather not freak out.  Then, he told me about the Chiropractor.
    "Yup, they put me in that neck strechin' thing last time an can you believe it it broke!"  My heart stopped.  "Yup, little piece cam flyin off the top.  My neck was about this long!"  He laughed, showing me about a foots length between his hands.  I'm sure I paled, thinking about the machines breaking.  "See, they just leave ya in a room!  I mean ya got yer panic button but sheesh."
    "O-oh.."  I squeaked.  My anxiety began to flare up.  Will they hook me up to this medieval torture device only to have it break with me in it?!  He nodded and talked some more about how the place expects him to come in 5 days a week and all tht jazz.  I watched Cupcake Wars.  Occasionally, workers would pass by and wave to him, all knowing his name seeing as he was apparently there everyday.  At one point, he even motioned to it informing me that "you can get some real good ideas watchin this stuff!"  Finally, I was called to meet my chiropractor.

Sad hospital dress is sad
 An interesting thing I noticed is that all the Chiropractors were men and all the masseuses were female.  Most likely because of the force it takes to pop a back and such.  Anyway!  The chiropractor checked my back and found out it was knotted pretty badly.  Afterwards, he said I would need and X-Ray and led me to a room where i stood in front of the X-Ray machine.  All no big deal, but all I could think of was hoping there was no neck stretcher in my future.  I did have to put on one of those dumb open back hospital dress things to take the X-Ray because I had a zipper on my dress, but that was the worst of it.  I was lead back to the hallway to sit.  Of course....he was there.  Bob.  Yet again.  Just a crazy random I think.  I go and sit 2 chairs away from him on the edge of the first set of 4 chairs, as he is sitting where I was.  He was mostly silent this time, although he had shed his outer shirt and was in weird short-eralls and a muscle shirt too small for him.  I stared at the screen telling Chiropractic facts as it explained why popping backs is a thing and such.  Bob once again attempted at small talk with announcing that the Barefoot Contessa really makes one hungry.

    Finally, I was called into the massage.  I laid face first on a table and got a lovely massage, although half of it hurt like hell.  I was nearing nap capacity until...I heard a voice.  "Yup, got hit with a truck!"  No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  As it turns out, the rooms are designed in a U shape, with essentially a bed on either side of a wall and a connected back area for the stuff.  I had the good fortune to be in the same room as Bob.  Finally, he quieted down.  
Me and Bob....agaaaaaain
     After the general massage, the masseuse said she was going to hook me up to something with the world electro in the name and I nearly panicked.  She explained that it would be patches on my back that would send little electric pulses for 10 seconds, wait 10 seconds, and repeat for 10 minutes.  I whimpered and tried to put on my brave face and was like "Oh ya, totally, I'm fine with that."  Truth is, it's hard to explain.  There are 4 patches placed on wherever the pain is.  For me, it was 2 on each side of my lower back.  I'll warn you, they are very cold when they put them on, but not for long.  Then, the slowly crank up the pulses until you say to stop.  I THOUGHT it would be like the electric chair, but was surprised to find out it was more like a weird buzzing feeling.  It felt as if someone was grabbing my back and squishing it together, and then letting go.  I would say it's like someone is drilling into your back, but that conotes that it hurts, nbut really it just feels like someone is pushing a vibrating stick into your back slowly and then stopping.  It's weird.  They also put what I assume was a giant, thick blanket over me for warmth which was fabulous.  (Random side note-I have 7 layers of blankets on my bed because I like heavy blankets.  Please tell me I'm not alone in this?)  I decided to distract myself by doin the math of the whole thing.  10 seconds every other 10 seconds, so 3 times in a minute.  10 minutes means 300 seconds work of shocking and 300 seconds worth of not.  I played this game in my head, figuring out how to program such a thing and trying to explain in my brain what to say in this post.

   After 10 minutes, the patches were removed.  The nice but weird thing about the patches is they feel slimy, but don't hurt when taken off like a bandage or peice of tape and come off nice and painlessly.  After that, she put on a thing that was some kind of ultrasound, that I didn't feel at all and was similar in the cold department.  I was nearly asleep, with my hair plastered to my face, when I was told I was done.  I got up and my cheeks felt weird from being smushed against the head-holdy thing and my hair was floating everywhere like little Medusa snakes.  I fixed it before I was led to the Chiropractor (the same guy as before), who was able to pop a huge part of my back so yaaaaay.  I got my bill, went to the front, and paid the fee and began to head out until an all too familiar sound came from the door.

   "Take care Bob!  See you next time!"  Out he came and walked to the parking lot.  Of all the things, his red motorcycle was parked beside me ;-;  
   "Beautiful things aren't they?"  He said slowly getting onto it.
   "Yup..."  And with that, I drove away.

Lea's Tips:

  1. Know all your information
    1. Know your insurance, medical history, and all that jazz.  I'm lucky enough to be old enough to sign most stuff for myself now, but that's also a curse since I had to call mom to ask which made the whole process take longer.  Also know if you've been to the hospital/had bloodwork done in the last 6 months.
    2. Be totally honest on the paper.  They're basically doctors, they need to know.  No secrets guys.  And be prepared for them to ask you the same things over again. 
  2. Don't be afraid to say you're not comfortable.
    1. Every 5 seconds they'd ask if I was comfortable with one thing or another.  I highly suggest that you be comfortable with people touching you, which I know many people aren't.  You can tell them at any time if you're unhappy.
    2. Don't be scared, since they want to make you feel better and feel as comfortable as you can while they fix whatever is wrong.
  3. Don't pretend not to be in pain.
    1. You're there for a reason.  If they poke a part that hurts, say ow or make a sound, otherwise, they can't help guys.
  4. Try to have your hair tied back or out of your face
    1. My hair keeps getting stuck to my cheeks and it can get extremely uncomfortable if you don't adjust your hair before you lay on your stomach.  I suggest a pony tail for girls with long hair, or for guys and I, just sweep it out of your face before you lie down
  5. Don't wear necklaces, shirts with bejewling or other fancy things, and don't wear dresses.  Wear flats or other closed shoes.
    1. I made all of these mistakes already.  You will be lying on your stomach and if you're wearing a necklace, i will feel awful and might get stuck under your neck and I'm sure I looked weird flopping like a fish to fix it.  My shirt also had tassels that got caught also, so be careful of those.
    2. I was lucky to wear a zip up dress, but if you're not so lucky, just wear jeans (or sweat pants are better) and a T-shirt.  It's just easiest.
    3. I wore sandals to my second visit and was trying to keep them from slipping off the whole time.  I wouldn't necessarily suggest tennies, but flats or shoes that say on easily are the best bet.
  6. Don't go on an empty stomach
    1. It makes you miserable  Be sure to eat!
  7. Don't talk to Bob
    1. Nothing will break
    2. Everything will be ok.
    3. You'll be better in no time guys <3

   That's it for this Adventure with Lea!  Adventures with Lea will now be posted on the Rant Time page, so you can find them there!  I hope you enjoyed this and keep you eyes open for Lea Plays Nintendo Land-Metroid Blast Part 5!!!