Friday, September 20, 2013

I'm done

   Hey was full of disappointment and unhappiness but i'll try to just summarize and not get all emotional and boring.  Let's just recap my day aye?
   Period 1:  Teacher was gone so nothing too bad
   Period 2:  Teacher was gone so i worked really hard last night on the 80 notecards for nothing
   Period 3:  I finished my assignment about The Two Towers and am waaaayy ahead still
   Period 4:  Math.  I am behind 1 assignment and really scared of the next text.  Thank God he doesn't care about lateness
   Lunch:     We had planned to have a big lunch with our friend but discovered she is still out of town.  We instead went ahead and bought 2 pizzas for the 4 of us anyway.  We ate a lot but shared some with our "brother table."  3 freshman kids tried to bribe us for our pizza, one for the SECOND TIME after we already told him to leave us alone last week.  We would normally feel bad, but the truth is we all pitch in.  Every week, someone else would buy a pizza.  We try to keep it equal and it's important to us (or well, was last year, we haven't gotten back into it this year.)  However, one friend's little brother who is actually taller than all of us an a freshie this year, came to our rescue and shooed the others away like a total boss.  We have thus declared him the guardian of the table and gave him and his lady-friend a slice each as payment.
  Period 5:  Today was finally the call backs for our class play.  As i think i mentioned in this post, i helped one of the mean girls with her monologue when we auditioned the monologues last week.  Today was cold readings.  I was called back for a lead in the female version of The Odd Couple.  My scene included the less mean girl as the other lead and other friends of mine in the other roles.  The theater teacher tried to comfort everyone telling us it wasn't just a play about 2 people and everyone had at least one line but a few people wouldn't even be cast.  I tried my best at the cold reading i really did.  He told us the cast list would be up at the end of the day and i thought to myself maybe i would finally get a lead.  Last year, i was also called back in the school play Secret Garden as the lead, Mary, but given at first a part without a single line and after another actress dropped out after not liking her part, Lt. Wright.  Every time i try for a lead i get so close and then suddenly get dropped down to nothing for no apparent reason although my teacher keep insisting to me that i'm a great actress,
  Period 6:  Worked on the color scheme of my web page thing.
  Period 7 and 8:  Sang and stuff and started to not feel well.  For the millionth time, the girl next to me put hr stuff where i sit and then was mad when i moved it to be able to sit.  Plus i found out that apparently, All State, which my friend has been basically forcing me to do so she can have a buddy, turns out to be over $100.  I'm really upset that that little detail was left out in all of her urging.
  After School:  After school i headed to my mom's room and gathered my things. That's when my friend (the same from the post about the bad day who accidentally told me to shut up and who i shared pizza with today) told me i got a part starting with S.  Instantly my heart sunk.  The leads are Florence and Olive.  I ran to the nearest paper and stared in disbelief.  The less mean girl was cast in the part i was called back for.  Plus, the really mean girl (who read her monologue off her phone for her audition) was cast when a few other great girls weren't.  I'm proud of my friend Elena (one of the ones who told the teacher about the bullying) got the character Olive and the boys got cast of course (since we only have 3 guys and 1 has to play a girl.)  But there i was.  Cast as Sylvia.  I...i'm not going to go into everything i felt but let me just say i am so tired of getting so close only to get denied.  I am tired.
Mend my wounds you handsome dunedain you. 

    After a lot of crying and questioning myself mixed with anger and feeling horrible about myself, i am sitting
in bed cozied up to Two Towers.  I hope my angst isn't too much for you all but you ask for me to write so i do.  Now, tomorrow i'll be going off to try on bridesmaid dresses and take my senior pictures.  Maybe if i'm happy and have time, i'll post one or two.  That's it for me tonight guys i really need a break after this.  I love you guys and thank you so much for being here and making me smile when i see that massive view count!  <3