Friday, July 5, 2013

Rant Time: On Hobbits and Bards (The day that happens to be the 4th day of the 7th month of the year 2013)

   Note:  This was mostly written last night until my family fell asleep and i stopped typing so i didn't wake them up.
    I swear i have heard "Happy 4th" ssoooo many times today!  So, imma skip the mention of the day and go on to my day!  Today was fantastic.  Although over all we as a family lost some money, my grandmother and i bet $4 ($2 each) on a horse with 35 to 1 odds to place.  It won.  I got a fantastic $58 and if i had said to win, i would have gotten $75!!!  Sadly, i didn't get as much at picking up my cousin these last few week because she hasn't been going 2 camp, so technically, i've only gained $10 total.  So maybe this isn't a firework year like normal, and there was no glowstick potato canon, but here we are in the hotel room after a lovely buffet and a fabulous little swim, watching the fireworks in NY on TV from my blow up bed on the floor.
   What's that?  You don't know what a glowstick potato canon is?  Well you see, for the past few years, my sisters boyfriend (now fiance) would bring over his potato canon made of PVC and duct tape and we would launch potatoes.  To add some flair for the 4th, we opened glowsticks and poured the color onto them!  They looked like nebulae when the flew and a whole galaxy when the glow coated a tumble weed.

    Now for another segment of "Rant Time!"  

     You, the brave adventure, now hungers yourself!  Days have passed and many a mile has been traveled away from the realm of Sa'm and you have begun to regain your heroic calm.  Now, you do not travel alone!  You have gathered your most loyal companions, your family.  In fact, you travel with the "wisest" of hobbits, the ones called the Old Ones, as well as a your ever-clever bard and brutish warrior.  The hobbits quarrel with the warrior as the bard tries to strike peace, but you simply focus on the task yourself.  You stop at the inn, make a bit of quick gold, then proceed to fight the beast most fierce, your hunger.  You come across a tavern and enter, un-expecting of the dangers that await.  A kind sir leads your fellowship to a table in front of a vast feast of many lands, the farthest east, the southern-west, the middle earth.  So the quest begins.  Your companions flock to find food that will quench their aching and you follow as well, sampling a superb platter from the land of Ital'i'.  You return to your spot to notice the drink your crew asked most graciously for have not been delivered, but you sit and eat on your merry way.  Your companions soon join you and begin to dig into the finest of meats, only to realize a knife has not been supplied.  You search for the maiden tasked with your assistance, but find her not and instead ask another, only to receive a single one for your group of 5.  You all carry on until more and more courses are consumed.  
      Two towers of plates, un-taken and uncleaned, stack beside you and a fresh glass of spring water has yet to be fetched.  You search for the maiden but again, she is gone!  Anger begins to swell in the hobbits and the warrior, but you keep your calm, searching for a solution.  Aha!  You spot the maiden behind you, clearing a bench once full of fine warriors.  You begin to lift your arm to signal to her, but in a flash, she is gone!  You grumble and return to your desserts, glancing at the mountains of plates compiling beside you.  Time passes and the Old hobbit woman finally catches the maiden and demands her drink as well as such silver as spoons and knives.  The maiden disappears in silence and a drink never returns.  The meals all to near to finished, the leftover dishes have compiled into a monstrous beast before your eyes.  Finally, the hobbit woman stands and storms away, surely to have some Old Toby, but on the way spots the maiden's boss!  You watch curiously to see many gestures of anger; hobbits and their short tempers you know.  Finally, she is gone.  Moments later, the maiden visits another table, clearing it of its burdens and trails to leave but suddenly, she is stopped by the boss!  A stern finger is pointed to your bench where our warrior had finished accumulating more of the platters.  The maiden sighs and reluctantly approaches, uttering a half hearted "i am terribly sorry about that" and gathers the mounds onto her platter and disappears yet again into the depths of the tavern, never to be seen again.  This treachery will live forever in your bards tails and you know of it.  The lesson to learn?  No matter how you despise a hunting group of companions for whatever reason it may be, a tip can always be gained with sugar rather than salt.  Also, do not enrage a hobbit and a bard.
    Check back tonight around maybe..7ish for another post maybe!  Vote, comment, write in, +1, follow, all that fun stuff!  Have a great day!